“There’s no one I’d rather be than me” – Wreck-It Ralph
That quote is definitely easier said than done. I am an avid Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday” viewer and one thing that she always talks about is that everyone has a desire to be accepted and, most importantly, to feel connected. In today’s world, we go through our life with the tools of connection at our fingertips (i.e. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Text Messaging, etc.) We post, double-tap, message and comment constantly, throughout the day. We strive for that connection through these platforms, but are we actually achieving it? Achieving true connection and acceptance?
If it all was based on how much we posted or were on our cell phones and social media platforms, we probably would have achieved satisfaction years ago. Why isn’t that the case today? Is it because we do not spend enough time on Instagram? What if the answer to that question is that the fault lies in us, the user and the person we are trying to connect with? What if the person we are to others is not who we truly are? Well, lets cut the crap, it probably isn’t right? I can count on my right hand how many people that I am truly raw with.
I have always held that fact close and with pride, believing that I choose to only open up to the people who truly wouldn’t judge me; people who would love me the same or even more at the end of the day. To everyone else, I would put on the polite face, the political face, hold back my opinions, my creative abilities, not post on my story because I was too worried about what others thought; that I would have to bare the burden of someone disagreeing with me. What if I write something that I truly believe in which someone critiques and makes a good point about? What if I get shamed? What if I get embarrassed? The list goes on and on. With that kind of thinking, it places us in the mindset that we can only show our so-called “perfect” selves to the world. We will clean a portion of our house to take that perfect Instagram photo, slap a filter on our face before posting, put makeup on to just go pump gas, etc.
Don’t get me wrong; I am definitely a creative person that loves getting that perfect shot for my blog and social platforms, I love keeping a clean house and from time to time, really take the time to do my makeup well. PLEASE do not mix up my message, it has NOTHING to do with the action, it has EVERYTHING to do with the purpose. If the purpose of cleaning your house is because you can’t bare thinking that someone would think you are human and have a messy house from time to time, then re-consider it. If the ONLY reason you are placing makeup on your face is because you can’t bare someone seeing you without it and what they would think, then re-consider it. I am ALL about doing things for yourself that make you feel beautiful and keeping your home a place that sparks joy, but do it for that very reason, to spark joy… not for anything or anyone else.
I recently picked up a copy of the Spring 2019 edition of The Magnolia Journal in which the theme throughout this edition was all about pursuing authenticity. There is an article written by Joanna Gaines within the journal entitled “Life Unfiltered” in which she talks about her relationship with Instagram and how it has changed throughout her incredibly successful career.
“It is so easy to let social media rob us of authentic moments.” – Joanna Gaines
She found that with every picture she took to post on Instagram she began critiquing the smiles in the photos and the messiness in the backgrounds, which she admits in other words that it truly is not a healthy relationship to have with social media or yourself.
“I think this is how we can end up losing sight of what is worthy of sharing and what is even more worthy than that—moments worth simply experiencing.” – Joanna Gaines
You see, I think this desire for connection and almost this impossibility to attain it has to do with whom we present to, not just our social media platforms but to the world.
Oprah has said, in many of her teachings throughout the year, that the mere fact that two people came to together to make you is ‘miraculous’! That alone is something to marvel on. God created you, with all your perfections, imperfections, the way you think, the way you talk, your creative abilities and your analytical abilities; everything about you is a miracle that CANNOT be replicated! So why do we hide that? We look at other peoples’ businesses, education, beauty, how many followers they have, the clothes they wear, what they drive and we try to replicate it? We get FOMO (fear of missing out) and feel that we are not worthy enough or good enough because these “friends” on Instagram have more, are thinner, more beautiful, smarter, richer, have more followers… and we spiral into this depression and wonder how they do it and how can we attain it? What is their secret?
But what we fail to realize is that we already have the secret, we were already born with it, God already gave it to us; we sadly just don’t share it. There is no other person in the world like you! We are all rare and yet, we treat ourselves like we are a dime-a-dozen. Deep down, we all have our own story, our own thoughts and ideas and as we start to share these stories and ideas with people, we start to create connection. You start to touch lives; you begin your journey of authenticity and with that comes acceptance and connection. You have to give up on the fact you are going to please everyone and that everyone is going to like you. There is ALWAYS going to be someone who doesn’t like you – kind of like the people who don’t like chocolate, we don’t understand them, but whatever, life goes on. The point I am trying to make is, once you give up on the stress and worry of what other people think and truly go through your life as your authentic-self, that’s when you are going to attract the people who truly love you. You will also start to see the people who are truly not for you… and that is also okay, because at the end of your life, you want to have looked back and have lived a life and did what God created you to do and have the people who truly accepted the authentic and raw you and happily with no edits necessary.